5 & 1/2

remember that time I joined a cult because I thought it was a grad school?
that was wicked funny.

the anger persists, a slow burn now, it might help get me to the end.

today on my walk an old man riding a bicycle called out to me, "hey! you're doing 5 & 1/2 miles per hour. I got it on my speedometer. Good for you!" Is that a good speed? I don't know but I love the unsolicited support that crops up on these walks. And he reminded me of something else, maybe I could walk a marathon.

I've started sketching again, designs for books that I want to make.

A book list is coagulating mostly in response to thesis question, and there's plenty related to it that I won't get to in time for this document.

The thesis question as of today: How can women's experience of "otherness" within the Evangelical Christian church be leveraged for change in that community?

Talking to J last night, she posed questions to try to open up what I really want to get at via this paper. It's something about identity, the people and place that I am from, the theology & culture that formed me (and remains with me). From J, I heard an invitation to, almost, relinquish identity. Why does an institution need the identity "Evangelical" or a person need to be "Episcopalian" etc. & moving into an interfaith spirituality while still remaining committed within a particular community, one that meets a person where they are spiritually.

I'm hungry for tradition. & that seems to come with (or render) a particular identity.

I want something to draw on or from or within that is older with more experience and questions than my own life. I love the way liturgy (not talking about Evangelicalism now) offers a rhythm and structure and all the little spaces between where you fill in with your own experience. Where everyone in the room knows that no one here made this up and it sort of frees us a little from adhering too closely.

One of the baristas just showed up on her day off. Her left arm and part of her right are wrapped in cling wrap around fresh tattoos. There's a lot of ooh and aaah. She's animated and happy and something like euphoria and relief. She's got bright colorful designs like sleeves on both arms. (Seems like most other folks here have black only.) I've admired her colorful arms each time I've seen her. Nice to be in a place enough to note newness in other lives.