Tuesday, July 27, 2010
on the spectrum
We've just learned that Baby N is "on the spectrum."
We're still not totally sure what that means, and I kind of wonder if anyone is totally sure of what it means.
I was shocked when the evaluator said it. She was the first person to say it out loud. I had expected her to tell me that he's super normal, just not average, and well on his way to catching up with speech and language, and his feeding issues, and the little social quirks he's got. Instead, she explained that each of those things, or maybe it's the constellation of them?, locates him "on the spectrum."
It feels like this open-ended challenge that we'll be wrangling for years, for the rest of his life?, wrangling with teachers and school systems and children and new young friends and their parents and insurance companies and scheduling therapy...
Yet, he's my same sweet funny bright curious little engineer baby. He loves numbers. He howls at the moon. He'll sit and figure something out til it's figured out. He jumps! He dances! He puts his cheek next to mine.