God is the madwoman in the attic.
I'm camped out on the threshold with my journal, camera, and plenty of snacks.

Monday, September 06, 2010

release & renewal

Today is my birthday.
We celebrated throughout the long weekend with simple pleasures I love,
like these gorgeous flowers,

and some time to myself (a simple yet rare pleasure).

This year, my birthday signifies a fresh start. I'm lugging around a lot of disappointment and frustration for too long. This birthday marks choice & cleansing, release & renewal.
I've got some great resources to help me do it:

Goddess Circle - specifically the Radiant Goddess course that starts tomorrow. It involves a nutrition plan (no gluten, no refined sugar, lots of fresh raw goodies and, well, less coffee for me), meditation & grounding, moving your body, and a group of bright heartfelt women to share the work & wonder of it. Goddess Circle more broadly is a place where I'm finding women I share some resonance with and that's another gift for this journey.

Releasing the Disappointments and Frustrations (a.k.a. the Evil Stupids) - I think of each new moon as a time for planting something and the full moon as a time for release. So, a the next new moon (9/8) I'm planting the notion of clean ~ my body, heart, & spirit. In the next couple of week I'll practice naming the Evil Stupids that I want to shed. At the full moon (9/23) I'll mark the release with a simple ritual and celebrate the work of renewal. It's symbolic, yes, but it also nudges along a necessary mindfulness.

Depression Treatment - we're changing my meds for the first time in nearly 3 years. I'm dreading withdrawal but hopeful of stepping out from the white noise and clinging heaviness. And I've got a referral for a therapist and some other resources.

Already Done - I've been to the dentist for the first time in 5 years with my first real filling coming up on 9/8; I just had my annual physical; I'm capturing N's accomplishments in my journal; I've been doing yoga pretty consistently during my lunch break; I'm remembering & receiving folks who take me as is.

There's so much more I want to be doing - photography course, job change, cooking, studying "the spectrum," participate in a real life community...

and this is a pretty gorgeous start.

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