|at the zoo|
What I'm doing is being with Little N in a simple and real way, which I wasn't able to do when he was a baby. Postpartum depression sent me running back to the adult world of the office as soon as maternity leave ended. Now I feel like I have a second chance and more time to cultivate a mother son relationship; we're bonding.
We have good moments and draining hours, like every mother and son. It's not easy, getting to know and learn this little person. But it is good. And when he calls for me, "Mommy, come hold my hand." "Mommy, come over here and play with Little N." "Mommy, come sit with Little N right there." I'm starting to think, "He's not always going to want me right there. I'm not always going to be right here to hold his hand." I might sigh or tell him to wait a minute, but I usually stop what I'm in the middle of and go be with him. And I usually remember that it's what I wanted to be doing in the first place.