God is the madwoman in the attic.
I'm camped out on the threshold with my journal, camera, and plenty of snacks.

Friday, May 10, 2013

a week of bad days

It's been a rough week.  Everything has felt heavy and too hard.  
By Wednesday I realized I'd had 3 bad days in a row and it was time for a change.

I use my day planner to keep track of what I'm feeling, eating, doing throughout the day.  The first three days of this week show bingeing and the absence of my tools, or good habits, that keep me on track with how I want to be living and want to be dealing with my feelings.  I called for a new beginning starting on Thursday.  That gives me 4 full days this week to live well, regardless of how I feel, and with the potential to feel better.

I need evidence in order to gain perspective into my own life.  The evidence in my day planner shows me where my behavior is influencing my mood and my mood is influencing my behavior.  Then I can correct at least the behavior side of things, in hopes of infusing my mood with something better.  It works and it doesn't.  But at least it gives me some choice and the ability to live, through my behavior, the way I want to be living.

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