on the cusp

I am a number of things that a (nice, good, attractive...) woman is not supposed to be.

I am: fat, greying, short haired, divorcing, single mom, spiritual seeker, mentally ill.

Tomorrow, I turn 39.  I am aging. 

I am surprised at my own surprise when I tell you it's all ok. Some part of me still believes the old rules about what a woman should and shouldn't be or do.  But nothing bad is happening as a result or in connection with any of those qualities I currently inhabit. They are things that I've chosen and I live well in these choices. Entering my fortieth year, I am making some more choices about what to continue and what to change.  I'm happy to pause a minute and notice where I am today.  Happy and ok.