God is the madwoman in the attic.
I'm camped out on the threshold with my journal, camera, and plenty of snacks.

Friday, October 11, 2013

witching hour

every workday at 11am I'm jonesing for a cigarette
so today, again, I headed out to my stoop to compose myself over a cup of tea
it didn't work.

 between you, me & the butt can, I broke down had 1 cigarette

Which is to say, I'm addicted.  It tasted lousy but felt terrific.  My blood bubbled and sang within me. The world and my mood brightened.  I was ready to take on my job.  But this can't be true!  Such a bad habit gives such a good response.  I can't let this worst of my unhealthful habits resume.  

What I'm noticing:

A long time ago, I used to think that my body gave me good information and insights about myself, other people, spirit, my decisions...  I had a strong connection to my intuition and experienced that within my body.  But addictions of all sorts (including seemingly little things like sugar and nicotine) skew all that good information, twisting it into vibes and impulses that can't be trusted.  So here's another good reason to get clean of it all ~ I want to trust my body and the useful information that it can convey to me.  

1 comment:

Bright Side of Life said...

One day you will look back and say to yourself "I am so glad I gave up smoking, I should have done it sooner"!! Says me, the ex smoker! :)