God is the madwoman in the attic.
I'm camped out on the threshold with my journal, camera, and plenty of snacks.

Sunday, January 05, 2014


Little N goes to his dad's on Saturday afternoon and stays overnight, giving me time to catch up on all the things that are hard to do with a Little N claiming my attention.  Bills get paid, housework done, and little pockets of time for me to replenish me. A friend planted the thought in my mind about the grace mothers extend to themselves.  I think carving out time for our own replenishment, in the midst of competing demands from our littles, is one of the ways that we practice grace for ourselves as mothers. 

Why, yes, they do make coloring books for grown-ups. 
So I started doing some reading about self-care.  Seems there are three tiers to it.  The immediate needs of food, shelter, etc.  The pause and relaxation needs of my coloring books or a visit to the spa.  And the soul needs, perhaps my most neglected and the most deeply replenishing.

The busyness of my days is how I secure the first level needs of home and hearth for me and Little N.  The pauses come when he's over at his dad's place.  And the soul time?  I almost prefer housework to soul work these days; it's finite and achievable as opposed to the other thing.

But I've also been reading and thinking a lot about mothering as a spiritual practice.  About the unity of sacred and mundane.  And I think the difference between these two spheres and/or the sameness they share arises from the intention we bring to our mundane work of home and hearth and parenting and pause.

Can I retain calm with Little N when he ever-so-deliberately pees all over the floor?  Not super likely, but I'm working on it.  Can I maintain a focus-in-the-moment in the overwhelming heap of laundry to be folded?  Sometimes.  Can I release my mind from the trainload of concerns and emotions while filling in coloring pages?  Getting there, once I turn off the soothing distractions of Netflix.

I'm not sure why sitting with my soul is challenging to me right now.  But I do believe that if I bring the intention of soul work to my tasks and to my pauses they will be soulful.

ack! but now Little N is home and my pause is ended… can I practice soulful presence in the rest of the day's parenting?  :-)

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