Little N goes to his dad's on Saturday afternoon and stays overnight, giving me time to catch up on all the things that are hard to do with a Little N claiming my attention. Bills get paid, housework done, and little pockets of time for me to replenish me. A friend planted the thought in my mind about the grace mothers extend to themselves. I think carving out time for our own replenishment, in the midst of competing demands from our littles, is one of the ways that we practice grace for ourselves as mothers.
|Why, yes, they do make coloring books for grown-ups.|
The busyness of my days is how I secure the first level needs of home and hearth for me and Little N. The pauses come when he's over at his dad's place. And the soul time? I almost prefer housework to soul work these days; it's finite and achievable as opposed to the other thing.
But I've also been reading and thinking a lot about mothering as a spiritual practice. About the unity of sacred and mundane. And I think the difference between these two spheres and/or the sameness they share arises from the intention we bring to our mundane work of home and hearth and parenting and pause.
Can I retain calm with Little N when he ever-so-deliberately pees all over the floor? Not super likely, but I'm working on it. Can I maintain a focus-in-the-moment in the overwhelming heap of laundry to be folded? Sometimes. Can I release my mind from the trainload of concerns and emotions while filling in coloring pages? Getting there, once I turn off the soothing distractions of Netflix.
I'm not sure why sitting with my soul is challenging to me right now. But I do believe that if I bring the intention of soul work to my tasks and to my pauses they will be soulful.
ack! but now Little N is home and my pause is ended… can I practice soulful presence in the rest of the day's parenting? :-)