L gets up at 4:30am. S the Cat has been up since 4. I've been awake since 2:30.
It's been another of the bad nights. I wake up to pee and when I get back in bed my mind is racing. It starts with looping thoughts about impending motherhood and then spirals out to my job and family and a falling out with an old friend and thoughts about new friends and homesickness for my old life and best intentions for my changing life...
This morning I get up with L. We stand together in our tiny kitchen waiting for the kettle to heat up.
He hugs me.
"Everything's going to be ok."
"I don't think so."
"I know that, but it's still going to be ok."
"I still don't think so."
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