I am the last one to bed these days. L goes first. Baby N and I say night-night to Daddy. L signs to us "Daddy" "sleep" and we close the bedroom door. Then Baby N has his last bottle for the day and some cuddling with Mama. Before long he dozes off in my arms and I carry him back to the bedroom. Once he's settled down soundly in his crib I have a couple hours to myself.
When I finally come to bed I am lulled by the soft sounds of sleep. Baby N inhales deeply for a full contented sigh. S the Cat pads across the floor and hops up onto the window sill where he settles for the night. Under the covers I snuggle into the heat of L's sleeping form. He wakes just enough to say, "good night, sugar, I love you." "I love you too." And he's back to sleep.
I love these nights. I love the whispery warmth of my sleeping boys. All of us sleeping together in that same room feels like security and affirmation; my life raft in the unsure waters of these days.