This afternoon, L showed up to have some time with Little N. They're off to the beach on this cool overcast day. I'm home puttering around, putting the place in order for a new week, thinking my own thoughts (rather than caregiving & disciplining thoughts).
For me, right now, time with L is kind of stressful. We're not together anymore because we don't really dig being together. But I do it, like yesterday's site seeing trip, for Little N's sake. Is it really in his best interest I wonder? One more question to navigate as we step deeper into new routines and patterns of relating.
I'm grateful to be able to dissolve a mismatched marriage. I'm grateful for a former partner who is committed to his son and seeks involvement in his young life. I'm grateful for the time, the support and encouragement of friends, the love of our son, to figure this all out a step at a time.